In Loving Memory...

Yesterday, while tooling around in my cab, just trying to make a living, I happened to spot a sign that said something like this: "This stretch of highway maintained In Loving Memory of John Smith." Now I've seen similar signs like this for years, but usually they say something like, "This stretch of highway maintained by Boy Scoot Troop 316" or "This stretch of highway maintained by the employees of Wal-Mart number 1234."

Signs employing the latter format are ubiqutous, and I seen them around in various locations for years. I usually don't pay much attention to them, except to the extent that I am gratified that some people are truly taking an interest in keeping some small, specific areas of America clean and beautiful. I guess what attracted me to yesterday's sign-spotting was the "In Loving Memory..." format.

I've seen such "In Loving Memory..." postings before. However, the vast majority of these previous sightings were painted or decaled onto the rear or side window of a pickup truck or car, usually in a hard to read font such as old English, or Gothic, and they tend to look like this:

In Loving Memory
Juan Valdez
1987-2006
You will Be Missed!

I think that it's great that some people have, while they lived, made such an impact upon those around them, that when they died, their friends and relatives proclaimed the impact thus made by posting various "In Loving Memory..." memorials. Of course, the cynic in me can't help but think that at least some of these memorials so displayed are for the aggrandizement of the one who displays it, rather than the deceased, but that is neither here nor there. I'm just saying that sometimes I wonder about the sincerity of such sentiments.

Now, I said all of the above just to set the stage, to provide some context, and to allow what I'm about to say below make sense.

Suppose that, while he lived, John Smith was a prick, a real thoroughgoing bastard, thoroughly despised by all, both near and far, all across this great land of ours. What type of memorial would be posted for him then? Would his friends and relatives felt the need to tell the world of how they really felt about him, to the extent that they would have posted a different sign over a different type of property? If so, would such a sign be posted somewhere more appropriate to the sentiment?

I think that maybe they would, and it might look something like this:

This Garbage Dump Maintained
In Spiteful Memory of
John "The Prick Bastard" Smith
1923 to 2005
May He Rot Like All The Other Crap Here!

I guess the moral of this story is, if you think your friends and neighbors are the type to memorialize you when you are dead, maybe you should treat them better while you're alive!

Furthermore, were I to see such as sign, I would have no doubts at all as to its sincerity. Would you?

Sincerely,

The Cab Guy